Sunday, June 24, 2012

A note on being an "agnostic atheist"

I've addressed the religion topic somewhat totally earlier. Here, I'd just like to further clarify conclusions from that post, and be a little more blunt. As far as there possibly being a "the God" beyond everything, this cannot be ruled out completely.. ever. So at this point, some theists find it perfectly fine to rest their case. But that's bullshit. You see, there's no problem in just stating there may be a God, but a problem does arise when you begin to describe and define (through its actions) this God. For instance, to say "he" created the world and the Universe in 6 days... is bullshit. To say he created Adam and Eve and no dinosaurs - bullshit. You may at this point say it's symbolic, but then who determines a correct interpretation? If you can just choose to interpret it differently with each period, surely one can do that for other creation stories. In terms of creation tales, the Judeo-Christian one is not even the most plausible, or right. So, before saying "checkmate atheists", perhaps a little honesty about what your religion is about is in order, at which point it fails miserably. This is all AFTER you can get over the fact that the tales were written a little under 3000 years ago and promoted through less than holy politics and wars through the ages.
That's enough on addressing the theists. To the atheists out there, it is equally important that in being honest about the situation, one has to conclude that there could be something outside of the known universe that is both odd and accounts for why "all of this" is here. That may be possible. But, that point shouldn't matter. I don't see why one has to always go to the ends of our knowledge at any moment of time in debating these fake fuck wads (not referring to all theists, just the arrogant, militant ones. Militant Atheists are a bit fuck wadish as well). Their religion makes certain claims as far as science goes, and these are ridiculously untrue. They can then go to the moral teachings, but there too, killing other tribes in the name of God seems to be fine in certain instances, reducing the status of women as well seems ok.... but no God who "created" or planned all of this would conclude like this. We piddly mortals already know how we are so much more equal both as sexes and races on account of our genetics and the functioning of our brains. No true God would ever say it's "correct" to kill other people who are just like you. An omniscient God who is so pathetically myopic? Really?
Lastly, there's no need for atheists to be militant. You just need to state the facts, and contrast that with the claims and origins of other faiths. That's it. Their days are numbered anyway, for there isn't a way out in a digital age where information is readily accessible. As more young people grow up in a society that's unshackling itself more intensely from the stupid and unwarranted customs of old, all these unfounded craplings will find their way in the sewer of history. Hate to be mean, but it's .. pretty much how it's going to be, as far as I can see it. But hey, I could be wrong. So cheer up Theists! Just believe I have no arguments, have blind faith in me being irrational... and you're done. Just do the usual.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

The World's Dilemma : My rough solution

In my original post on The World's Dilemma, I pointed out why on account of our human nature and the structure of the system we have, the world is always going to be kind of fucked up, and will require a constant source of checking and feedback. This doesn't mean however that we should be dejected and accept failure. Far from it. What does bother me about the world today is that, despite it probably always going to be fucked up (as long as the constraints remain true), it is SO far from being the system it could be. Let's forget perfection, and just talk progress. We could have it much better, we can have a much "smarter" system in place, both globally and locally. How to get it going practically is a tricky problem, that I sadly don't have a general answer to. But what I do have some insight into is what needs to happen in order for us to have a better, smarter system.

1) Education : The most pressing problem, and at the heart of the whole dilemma, is that people are simply too uninformed and apathetic, but not quite in the sense that most people think however. By uninformed, I mean that we simply don't know the bigger picture well enough, and this is simply not promoted as far as our education is concerned. We arenot sympathetic enough of our differences, or aware enough of our broader similarities. That seldom gets into the equation, and understandably so. We live pretty insular lives, comforted into a system that seems, for the most part in those areas we access... fool-proof and fail-safe, even in times like these where global instability is just a probable event away, and the system may be crumbling in front of your very eyes. Even in times like these, most people simply look around them and notice most of the following -  the roads are still around, their house is around, the people they care about are alive and ticking, and things seem to be going on just as "usual". At least most of these things are going on at the same time, but seldom all. In any case, the picture our uninquiring minds will paint in circumstances like these, is to just go on. But even when a lot of these things AREN'T going on right, the other aspect of our present system kicks in. The other aspect is that it makes us think that it is too big for us. That's what I mean by apathy... a subconscious belief that "it" is too big, rather than a voluntary, conscious process of not taking any initiative. Surely, we can't alter the way things are. We are just piddly ants in an enormous ant colony, and the ones running the colony can squash us without the slightest effort should they choose to. Surely, there is no simple way to alter the system, which has been rigged up in such a way so as to prevent any obstacles we piddly workers might try to come up with. Well, sure... that is partially true. But they are not invincible, if that is the belief, which it often is. There is a certain amount of concentrated and coordinated work required, but it is most certainly possible. It just is that people can't see this. They simply can't see the coordinated process, and so they don't do anything... or a very deep level. This is why revolutions pick up so well. It gives them that faint glimmer of perspective that makes them see change just an inch away. It all becomes real. But it is ALWAYS real... we just don't take the time to see it, and realize it.
So this is what I see broadly lacking on an individual level. The solution then is to somehow get people not only more informed, but also to understand their significance in altering events in society. The two basic themes I just addressed are easy enough to achieve. The hard part, is getting people to agree on what the solution ought to be. There unfortunately is no simple way to come out with a "societal" right and wrong. People will generally infuse into the societal solution, their own views and ideas, and this will often be restrictive in terms of the bigger picture of needing a system that caters to the masses, ensures individual rights, that honours the dignity of human life, and so on. The idea that things must be "as consistent and right as possible" needs to enter the conversation. This will sometimes involve not having the right solution as far as many things you are concerned with is involved, but it will be the right thing if you take the pieces of information of the broader society you belong to, and the global picture, into account.  The understanding of "consistency" and "empirical evidence", is something that will be tricky to make people get. Even smart, informed people, sometimes don't get the significance of these two things in leading up to a "correct" conclusion in all contexts, including social and societal. (correct in quotes since it is only the most correct thing you can get for a set of facts, and not necessarily THE correct thing). The rules of logic for mathematics is easy, because there is no confusion about the objects being dealt with, the axioms, and the rules of the game. With people, there is ambiguity throughout. But it is my belief, that should we know a) what the constraints of ourselves and the societal system (at a given time) are, b) what conditions this system ought to satisfy for the people in order to result in an efficient society that is maximally beneficial, and c) where the people and the society are functionally at a given point in time; ... should we know these three things with little ambiguity, AND be informed and proactive.... then a common-ish (a good majority) solution can be acquired by the people. We can then have some sort of uniformity in opinion.

2) Explicit self correction mechanisms in every societal system : Again... hard for me to generally formulate. Every system that we will come up with will be based on a sweeping generalization of reality. It will also be at a point in time, rigid. This in turn will guarantee not every issue will be handled in the "right" way in society. The system itself, were it perfectly followed in an uncorrupt way, will lead to issues due to it being rigid. So, a method of allowing...iterative changes to the system, adding and taking away things as we go along and learn over time, is pretty essential. But the fact that systems are corrupt means that there must be a better way to check on the people running the system itself. This again leads us to point number one - education. An informed and proactive public will add pressure to any system. It may originally be democratic in its ways, in which case the correction mechanism is implicit in the system (however it may not be thoroughly exercised, as in present times), OR it may not be, in which case it never is too late to start a revolution and force democracy onto it. I addressed a part of this point in the post Pubeocracy not too long ago.


Broadly speaking then, getting the public "educated" in the sense I mentioned, and having the system equipped with self rectifying democratic tools, is fundamentally what is needed. Each country obviously comes with their own little goofy issues. In addressing these problems on the level of the system (modifying laws, introducing regulation, starting institutions, etc) they have to be introduced in as much as possible, a simultaneous and consistent way. It will be hard to introduce such things perfectly, and there will always be glitches, but we presently have a shitty global system, and the local scenario is pretty shitty for most countries. In all of this, I have my fears that people will never get "honest and real" when asked to make public decisions, and will always seem to address their self interest first. It's because of this that "education" for me is so important. It gives the hope of character development for a great many people. It equips them with ways to handle obstacles in their way, to think and be independent ... to be individuals. A world with a majority of people like these WOULD be better. I haven't run a simulation on this... but I'd be very interested in what society a sociologist running a program with people characterized the way I have, will come up with. I'm pretty sure it would validate my view, and in any case it is worth a shot from the standpoint of our race. The only question then is.... "How does one practically achieve this informed, individual filled society, from a system that is hell bent on leaving people as ignorant and foolishly content as possible, so that the ones running the show can capitalize on their interests?" . This is the Catch 22 situation I alluded to in my original post. The solution required to fix the system cannot be practically acquired from the system itself in the present time ... save perhaps for a technological or sociological revolution. Perhaps that is why the internet has caused a slight hiccup here and there, and will continue to do so ... at least until those idiotic laws in the works get passed.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

My (present) priority list, in order

  • Understanding physics, the evolution of my mind, the understanding of fundamental aspects of the universe,ourselves, and our society.
  • My responsibility to my parents, my desire to make them as happy and proud as I can
  • My responsibility to my closest friends, and understanding and forgiving their shortcomings (should they arise).
  • The other "friends", most e-peeps, and half strangers

The Golden Algorithm

Observe, Understand, Accept, Adapt, Evolve

Each step is more intensive and complete than the mere word seems to suggest, with the whole process being dependent not on intelligence, not on bravery,...  not on anything other than one thing - honesty.
But yes, this is in essence the magical formula for all people, in all times, and all societies, to reach their full potential and discover themselves.

Fine... I'd better break it down:
Observe yourself and your environment, either with respect to a particular problem or system. Gather as many pieces of information you can. Again, honesty is the key to getting the right pieces. You must gather the pieces in as objective a framework as possible. Question the assumptions, and break the framework as much as possible. Get to the most objective one, and then observe.
Understanding involves looking for a consistent picture of the pieces you've just acquired. They will paint a picture, both of yourself and the system/problem you're analyzing. New questions will arise, and at this stage greater generalizations will be possible. You'll ultimately be able to formulate something very general, but so general that it would be useless as a practical tool without adding in more specifics. But having acquired this overall system for looking at the situation is a very useful place to continue.
Accept those aspects which can't be changed. Yes, they MAY ultimately not be immutable, but for now, as far as you can see... they are. So accept them till further insight. Build from this as your starting point. These are the things about both yourself and the situation/problem you're dealing with that you can't change. It may be a temporary thing, based on this point in time, but these are the constraints you will have to deal with in coming up with a practical solution.
Adaptation involves coming up with a plan to now use what you have, to take you from where you are to where you want to be. So you figure out a plan of action essentially, but all of this coming AFTER you've figured as much of the bigger picture as possible, and understanding the underlying dynamics that drive the whole thing in reality. That was the whole point of all the earlier points.
Evolve involves actually going on to the next level. Your plan will seldom work perfectly, because you will learn a new thing about yourself and of the system you are dealing with. In this case, repeat the whole process and refine the plan. So it is both the minor evolution of yourself with respect to your earlier plan, and the evolution of the plan with respect to the new information you have unwittingly acquired.

This then is broadly speaking, the procedure I have and do use time and again to get things right, both in terms of actions in life, and thought processes. It has worked nearly perfectly nearly all the time. The times it hasn't worked is when getting informed to a sufficient degree was too difficult (as in some social circumstances), and in those cases where the actions to be performed are unfeasible at the moment... at least in a simple way (as in my desire to fix the world. I just don't have the resources in every possible sense). But in every other case, it does help to eliminate "losses", ensure you get things "right", and to reach a "higher" level. Does it come at the cost of spontaneity? Yes, in many ways... absolutely. But this is for those people who are sick and tired of fucking up all the time. It is the only way I know of to nearly guarantee you WON'T fuck up in what you're trying to do, or the thing you're trying to solve. The extent of success depends on how honest and inquisitive you are willing to be. Get those right, and you're pretty much set.

Religion

(This post, and the one on Abortion that I will follow up on... at some time, is dedicated to Madhuri Kumari from RRI. I will follow her advice and make it as complete as possible  with all the thoughts that I have on the topic, despite it then leading to a VErrrrrrrrrY long post. If people are interested enough, they can read. Else... it doesn't matter.
Thank you for that discussion on the 7th of June. It helped me more than you'll probably know. The vodka did it's bit as well.. but not as much as you. I don't understand WHY it did work so well in "centering" me from then on, but I guess that has to do with that part of my mind which has avoided detection by its consciously and meticulously probing part.)

I was wondering how to write on this topic. I was wondering if using logic and truth like a sledgehammer would be appropriate. The sledgehammer is going to creep in.... there's no way around it, and there is no reason for there to be a way around it; I'll only be speaking the truth. But before I get into the nasty business of all this truth speaking (which will ironically be the tool required to bludgeon the thing that claims to be promoting "THE truth") a brief disclaimer. We're all religious to different extents, in the sense that we believe in things that are in a sense un-provable by reality in the present. For instance, I believe that I will be able to be a successful physicist, even though I have done nothing other than learn the theories of physicists that came before me. I've only acquired a sense of shallow mastery where I can manipulate the theory to solve certain problems, and not mastered things well enough to show why the theories are wrong. In this case however, the odds of my faith having some bearing with reality is perhaps a lot stronger than the faith that there is a daddy God in the sky interested in whether you picked your nose a particular way at 5 a.m. in the morning, when the moon was positioned a certain way with respect to the Earth. But in any case, what we all possess are bits of faith that drive our lives, and influence our actions... and which serve to define us and give us and our lives meaning, in both subtle and obvious ways. In this sense, we are all religious. It just so turns out that saying you're "religious" implies your affiliation to the most extreme, and universal, ridiculous and unsubstantiated belief that there is some supernatural force driving our lives. Alright, before I go further, I must also state that if you are religious, my problem in not necessarily with you. That was the point of the "we are all religious" start to this post. I don't care if you are religious. I have only two problems as far as religion is concerned -
1) The existence of organized religion, and more specifically, the authority they demand to have.
2) The use of religious arguments as valid realistic ones, so much so that they are used as the sole driving force against aspects of our reality that are demonstrably and evidently true, and scientific theories and ideas that have been shown to be true. These arguments are then used to dictate social and societal norms.

If you do subscribe and believe in either points 1) or 2) (or both) in their entirety, then yes, I will be attacking you.... thoroughly, in what follows. But if on the other hand, you have a certain faith, but also a certain humility enough to tolerate other peoples faith, and enough sense to identify that social and societal rules may sometimes have to violate what you personally believe in.... then no, you're fine with me. Without further ado, let's get started.

I don't see organized religion having a good ending for us as a global community. The reasoning behind this is quite simple. For one thing, it deals with "a very important topic", and too many people disagree on the central point of this topic. So conflict is going to result as a consequence, since it is probable that in any case there would be some religions that demand dominion over other "false ones". But why is this topic so important? Is it merely because as children, these people were indoctrinated and brainwashed into thinking our world has some deeper element to it that deals with them personally, that other people are blind to. Well, yes... but it's not so simple. It had to be something that also had a parental aspect to it, something I prefer to call "paternal" .. the father figure. Our brains seem to hook on to these things for some reason. It's part of our nature. Belligerent fanatics, and promoters of societally retarded policies seem to come exclusively from these "paternal" religions. You see Buddhist monks with intense fervour and belief, but you don't see them asking for banning homosexuality, or for destroying China, and so on. It's not that Christianity and Islam would lead to this consequence in all cases. Not at all. It's because of that element of "God is looking down at you" ,"He's judging you", "It is a sin, he say's so",etc being hammered away. It's because of this style of teaching/brainwashing... because of this form of promotion, that I think we have ourselves a problem. One could just as well just teach the message of Jesus Christ without getting into him being THE son of God, and then explaining who God is by going to the previous chapters of the "Good book" where it's mentioned how many atrocities are fine under the right circumstances - like murder, stoning, genocide,etc. Once the good judgmental daddy, and the nasty,wicked uncle theory gets into our head as children... I think it's hard to eliminate. Maternal religions of the past, promoting a love of nature, conservation and preservation... didn't lead to as much trouble as the paternal ones. Since the most dominant organized religions of the world are the monotheistic, Judeo-Christian ones, which lead to belligerent, oppressive, fanatical and psychotic fuckers... this is what gives me a slight cause for alarm about organized religion on a global stage in the 21st century, and beyond. Again, to reiterate, not all organized religions being taught in certain ways would lead to the present situations. As far as I can see it... you need these paternal ones. And it's perhaps easier to buy into one big daddy god, as opposed to a supergroup of Uncles like the Greek "myths". It doesn't demand so much authority does it? If you piss off one, you can always suck up to the other. Plus, the greek gods had limitations. They were horny like us, they didn't pay attention all the time, they made mistakes, and so on. In other words... they were all too human (and that was the intent I believe... the personification of human attributes in a higher and more extreme form). The reason I mention this here, is that I've noticed the argument that Christianity and Islam being so widespread, speaks of their "truth value". It doesn't. It just speaks of a war like nature of the dominant nations of the past that promoted them, the methods in which they bought subservience of the people they conquered, and the ease with which a paternal religion can demand authority with the right organized structure established to threaten you should you not follow. That's all that was required to ensure it being spread over time. That, in a nutshell, is the reason for its "success".

But all this is one thing. The thing that pisses me off is the blatant concealment of history by these religions. For an institution that demands such authority, and have for over a thousand years, they are painfully opaque about their origins. The scholars of these faith, the priests of Christianity for instance, are familiar with the all too human origins, both of their religion and of their institutions, but they keep them secret. If asked personally, they will probably tell. But on the podium, one only gets to hear the message, and the brainwashed sheeple are required to lap it up like golden chunks of truth. I'll focus only on the origins of the faith itself, and not on the institutions. It's more effective to get to the root, than deal with the superficial societal construct that followed.
The truth is that the Pentateuch, your Old Testament, were written by four "authors" (or rather author groups) between 950 BC and 550 BC - the Yahweists, the "Priestly"s, the Elohists, and the Deuteronomists. The Old testament is a clear copy paste of  these not so ancient texts. There's a decent enough historical evidence to see what was being said is not true, either completely or partially. Well, you protest, who is to say any source of history is authoritative? No one says any one source IS, but when there are several independent sources saying one consistent thing, and one source contradicting the rest, chances are that the one source is full of shit. Imagine reading texts from a thousand years from now, where there is some dominant religion (after we have all blown ourselves up, or drowned ourselves) saying that there once was a land called North Korea, and it was the greatest nation of the world. The people following this ancient text will believe strongly in it, and will claim that there was a God that rose from the mountain and all that crap. But there will be evidence from all other nations claiming that this is not true, painting a picture of the 20th and 21st century that is more or less consistent save for this one contradictory bit of literature acquired from North Korea. Who would you believe, given this evidence? If the organized religion from the time of our demise till the thousand year later period worked well enough, you'd believe that they're both arbitrary, and you'll believe that North Korea is the place where God was born and there was heaven on Earth. You can believe that, but you'd be wrong, just like you'd be wrong in thinking the old Kingdom was actually a Kingdom as opposed to a bunch of scattered tribes ... which is what is evident from archaeological data and from the input of neighbouring nations and tribes. This mind you, is not data acquired by some determined atheists. This is what Israeli archaeologists... and all other ones surveying the region have come to know. Nothing controversial here.  Neither was a Bethlehem found to have supported any colony around the time of the birth of Christ (and neither would it, since the nativity story was added afterwards in the "Matthew's Gospel", which essentially plagiarized the original one by Mark, the one by Mark being written some 30-40 years after the supposed death of Jesus). There were the Gnostics, who did promote the coming of a saviour, and spoke of a deeper truth. For all we know, there were hundreds of these prophets. It's possible one had more traction than the rest, but in any case, there is no historical data to support his birth. Some may claim, falsely at that, that since people made such a big deal of it, SOMEONE must have lived at that time for sure! Well, no. You're simply projecting the modern society's ability to promote information quickly via media into an ancient world, where I could have just walked to another city, made a bunch of shit up, and it would have spread like wildfire among a bunch of disgruntled people. It need not have had any truth value to it whatsoever. But that's besides the point. If we just stick to the New Testament, it is also very clear that Matthew, Luke and John, following up roughly a decade later in succession, essentially plagiarized the original by "Mark". That's all that we get from the historical data, and the point of it being plagiarized is the most probable explanation on account of the spacing in time between the different authors. You are free to disagree , since that point is not ironclad. What is though, is that it was written decades later. Following this (and here comes the part that is REALLY going to get me in trouble) five centuries later, a fellow comes up with Islam to bridge the tribes under one religion. Now, Muhammad almost certainly did exist, for there is clear evidence of the period before and after his time on Earth. There is no written evidence from this period, but someone like him probably did exist to form the uniform tribe that was spreading across the middle east. He probably did have very good intentions, and his message was indeed originally one of tolerating other religions. Indeed, when Islam was spreading till 1100-1200 AD, they didn't force their religion on the nations they conquered. People of different faiths (i.e. Christianity and Judaism), were allowed to follow their faith in most of the conquered parts. In Spain, they were the promoters of science and intellectualism.
I won't go into this further. All I wanted to do is present the history behind it. It's to show that these religions really came from an all too human source, from a time that was in no way uniquely special in terms of genies and dragons flying around. It was, as far as aspects of reality are concerned, "just like now". When presented with this, I should think it should make you feel a little humble about that faith you think is so divinely sourced. All too often, people just forget to question where those words in the text they use to proclaim the righteousness of something, or the wickedness of something else, really came from. They were written not too long ago, by people just like you. All you had to do was just take one step back and ask "where did this thing I value so highly, come from?" . You can obviously say that all that I said is bullshit. Well, go out there and get informed yourself. If you don't want to appreciate any bit of historical and scientific evidence, then there's nothing I want to say or can say. The programming as a child worked wonderfully on you. I'm assuming and hoping it happened as a child, because if you have consciously, as an adult, acquired such a strong affiliation, it makes it very hard for me to understand the extreme irrationality you possess.

Ok, so so far we've covered that organized religion is built on very human and earthly based constructs (and what I haven't covered is that the institutions were built with a whole lot of politics, suppression of information, and bloodshed) , and that should the religions they promote be taught in the way they presently are, there's going to be eventual conflict... which in the context of our modern and technologically advanced society where it gets increasingly easier to cause greater and wider scale harm with decreasing effort ... poses a bit of a problem.
But I haven't covered the God topic yet, have I? What if he/she/it really does exist?!! Well, maybe he/she/it does, but all that I'm saying is that you have as much access to he/she/it as did those people from a thousand years ago. Something spectacular might have happened, but there is no way to tell. The word of God you protest! You mean those bits of text that are scientifically and historically inaccurate, about the origins of ourselves and our universe? You mean those texts that put people of different nations and women on a lower platform, when we can understand full well that they are different but equal from a genetic standpoint? Is that the basis of the divinity argument? Because if it is , it only seals the man made point more than otherwise. It becomes increasingly more probable that we just came up with an imaginative way to make people follow rules and social norms that were considered appropriate at the time. I also don't think the same nativity story cropping up time and again is a sign of anything other than unintelligent plagiarism of an old tale that started in ancient Egypt.  But still , lets give the God thing some thought... specifically that man is important or special, worthy almost of his/her/it's attention. Well, let's look at the facts. There are a 100 billion galaxies in our observable universe (there are many more that we simply DON'T observe). There are a 100 billion stars in each of these galaxies, and around each of these stars there's anywhere from 2-4 "goldilocks" planets , on average*. That's something in the order of 10^22 life sustainable planets out there. And here some of us have the audacity to think that we are the pinnacles of life, we... the end product of a bunch of meek miniscule mammals that were allowed to reproduce in the aftermath of the extinction of the dinosaurs, all that being permitted by the chance collision of our planet with a meteor. Just think about that. Just think about how ridiculous it is to think that if there is a God, he/she/it cares for us in any special way. That we in any way could be the most evolved life form in the Universe after a 64 million year experiment left to run, in a Universe that's almost 14 billion years old. It's either got to be equally important, or equally indifferent... but nothing special. Why would the events concerning us humans on Earth, based on an artificial,self-sustaining, man-made system designed to support a growing population, be of ANY interest to "the" God?  This is all assuming "the" God exists. For if "the" God is just an evolved being in the Universe, there is no reason to buy into its rules any more than ants and other animals must cater to our rules (all of this assuming this "evolved being God" could communicate with us in some way, for which there is no evidence in the present or historically). We may find them a nuisance and squash them, or kill them, but that's just the exercise of our power to protest their hindrance to our plans, not because what they are doing is fundamentally wrong. A rat or cockroach does nothing fundamentally wrong... it is we that find it wrong from our perspective. In the same sense, this evolved being could very well be wrong about what is right for us.
I think that covers the God point.

 Perhaps I ended up going far deeper than I planned on, but I just wanted to be as complete as I could be on this topic.


P.S: I wanted to cover the attack of religious institutions and religious people on science and social rights, but I think the fact that they don't have a leg to stand on is sufficient an argument. The idea of things being "just a theory" however, I will cover...  in a separate (and much shorter) post. Yea, I'll use the title "Just a theory" for it.



*The goldilocks planets are those with the right distance from the star, such that the temperature is sufficient to have liquid water around. Since our universe is loaded with organic matter, it is very likely that these water laden planets will promote carbon based life. There could be life that is not carbon based (silicon for instance) , and it could function through something other than water. There may be alternatives to the carbon based energy cycles for life. So much for the sanctity behind the anthropic principle. All in all, the number for life arrived at is very conservative, but how much life is there in the Universe will have roughly the same order of magnitude, as an upper limit. 

Monday, June 18, 2012

The eternal missing of the miss

You still haunt my dreams. You flutter in my waking moments, where I turn to tell you something odd I thought or found... but you're not there. I want to bitch to you about inconsequential shit, my weekly vicissitudes of ups and downs that won't matter in the long run. I really want to know how your day went, and  want to be in it. I want to feel you in my arms, feel and hear you breathe , hold your hand and devour it with every sensory organ I have. I long to share and hear your tales, your gossip, your views. I long for your cute and not so cute outbursts on the important and the mundane. I long for you, the good and bad. In all of it that was, I must confess, there was a sense of completeness and fulfillment. Maybe that is why breaking apart was not so easy for me for so long. Because as bad as the bad sometimes got, it never escaped my mind as to how much I loved the whole. I still love the whole. My only obstacle now is my stubborn mind, trying to make my equally stubborn and asinine inner self to bow down to its will. This is easy enough when I can rub away the old and start away with a clean slate. I seem to have stumbled upon something I don't want to rub away. I can't seem to bow down to the logic of my mind... this time. You my dear, are the most wonderful virus that has ever infected my heart and soul; the only thing to have so embarrassingly overpowered my mind, and who after all those weirdly negative moments that would have made me not think of another person twice, can still make me fill with true warmth with the slightest thought. I will always miss you, and I will always love you.  

Siblings

There was a rift, not too long ago, among my sisters, so much so that it bordered on hatred. Lawsuits had been filed, claims of the other being "dead" to the other was mentioned with absolute sincerity. But then, the next moment (i.e. a year later) it's all forgotten. This has pissed me off. I don't know what bothers me more about it - whether the initial point is full of shit, or the final point. One or the other is, and the whole pointless drama pisses me off. I find it increasingly hard to relate and understand these members of my "family". They seem more strange to me than most people I know, and are by far the strangest of the "close ones". For all my "bigger picture" perspectives that I try to adopt, they remain to me the most elusive and hard to grasp of all the human cases I know of. Everything else and everyone else can make sense with increasing information. But these guys.... certain consistent pictures do crop up, and they aren't pretty. It disappoints me, and saddens me. I don't know what I border more on - pity or shame. I'm happy for their success, but I know that it won't matter to them what I think. I know it wouldn't matter what anyone does think. That, in itself, is the heart of the tragedy. I've witnessed these pinnacles of conceitedness, these hogs for wealth and power, these beings of immense ingratitude towards their roots with an immaturity that is breath taking (in a really bad way).  I've witnessed this with disgust, and in their own way I guess, have helped me to try my best to take the opposite path. So I guess I owe them for what I value, but they still do sometimes take the revulsion cake (like right now).