Anyone who knows me personally well enough, knows I haven't had the greatest family upbringing one could have. But all things considered, for me right now it's just a matter of the past. My feelings at the time are no more significant to me today than all those other things that affected me so seriously as a child and toddler; it's all just relative to my (developing) state of mind in the past. As for the present, I'm extremely grateful that I do have this couple of people in my life, who ... through ebbs and flows, allowed me to pursue what I presently am with different levels of belief. There are a great many times, at least over the past couple of years, where I didn't believe in myself to carry on. When it all goes to shit, it does help that there are these two people who believe, based on the work you've put in (rather what they THINK you put in) and the way you reveal yourself to think and feel, that one day golden rays of sunshiny truth will shine out of your ass and will help make things better for yourself and other people. In those shitty days for me, apart from the driving force to prove the ones that snicker at you wrong, there is the equally potent driving force to validate the beliefs of those that have stuck with you. I'm glad I have these two, and right now the desire to become the person of their belief is stronger than any other driving force I can invent.  I only want to pay them back, in every way I can.